To My Blue-Eyed Angel
by VintageHeartss
Summary: It's cute, it's sad, and it might make you cry, memory by memory.


**To My Blue-Eyed Angel,**

I remember when we were young. I was 6 and you were 8. I was the new kid in school. Everyone use to make fun of me. They'd call me that little redheaded Italian kid. I remember when I use to come home everyday, locking myself in my room and crying, dreading the next day. But I also remember that time, that one special time in my life that changed my life forever.

Do you remember when I was sitting by myself during recess, rolling a ball of clay in the sand, watching the dirt collect on it as the other kids played tag? Yeah, you were the coolest kid, weren't you? Didn't everyone love you? Look up to you? That's how I remember it. But I also remember that shadow, the one that was cast over me that day when I was crying, rolling my little pink ball of clay, alone. I remember looking up and seeing a young boy with bright blonde hair. He looked only a little older than I was, and his eyes were the bluest of blue. He didn't smile at me, though. Instead, he sat next to me in that sand. He just sat there, close to me, and watched me. I remember his friends reactions, they were all so confused, wondering why you wanted to sit with that loser. That loser being me. But you didn't care. You ignored them, remember that? I do.

I remember sitting at lunch by myself, crying again, as I always did. I remember the spit balls, they were in at the time. Everyone seemed to be doing them. I remember me being their main target, especially during lunch. One would always fly into my food. I guess I just got use to it, so I stopped buying lunch. I'd just sit there, my head down. Either that or, I was staring at, you. I remember you caught me doing that one day, and you stared back. I tried to play it off, but you were already standing up. I don't know why I got scared, but when you sat next to me, I guess I just wasn't expecting it. And neither were your friends.

Do you remember in middle school, 8th grade to be exact, when you jumped in front of me when that person threw a plate at me? I mean, how could you forget something like that.. Well, I'm still thankful for it, just so you know.. And what about freshman year, when you volunteered to be my partner during labs? Remember how close that made us? Remember how happy we were then? I do.. I remember going over your house to work our project. Do you? That was the best night of my life. Remember how you told me I was special to you? And my response, how I questioned you why you gave up so much for someone as unworth it as me? Then you told me that you loved me, the moment you laid eyes on me. I remember just how blue your eyes were in that moment, and that sparkle. Oh, that sparkle. It was late, and I was in love. Remember, I told you, you were the only one I've been thinking about for the past, well, ever? And you smiled, your eyes so sincere and precious. Remember, the way you kissed me that night? Oh, so sweetly. I do.. I do, very well.

I also remember the days when you began acting, different. You didn't have that same smile you would always give me whenever I was around. You didn't kiss me like you use to. You started drifting away, and I was getting desperate. I loved you, so, so much. You were my happiness, remember those days? To see you treating me, as if, you didn't want to be around me anymore... Do you remember how that made me feel? I do.. Oh, too well.

Do you remember what you told me that one, cold night? I do. But I try, _so_ hard to forget... Remember it? You told me you couldn't see me anymore. You wouldn't remember how that made me feel, you could never even guess. I remember, though. You couldn't even look me in the eye when you said it. I remember going home, and for the first time in a long time, I cried. I cried for hours, all night, all the next day. I wanted to die, do you remember that? Probably not.. I don't think I've ever told you.

I don't think I've ever told you about that winter night, the one when you told me you were seeing another... No, of course I didn't tell you. Well, maybe you do remember. I had walked to the bridge, the one over by the lake. It's pretty high, and the water was most likely freezing, since I was. I didn't wear a coat, yeah, I think you do remember, because I can't exactly. All I remember is my body temperature dropping, and everything going numb. Then I woke up in the hospital, surely you remember that one, right? Because you were right there in my face once my eyes opened. I asked you why you did it. I told you I wanted to die. Remember your response? You asked me why on earth I would do something like that, to _you_.. I asked you why you cared, you weren't with me anymore anyway. Do you remember what you said? You said it was because you loved me. I didn't know whether to laugh, or hysterically cry.

Why did you leave me? Without you, I'd rather have just died. There was nothing more to live for. I remember that one day, I was sitting alone in the park, 19 years old at the time. It had been 2 years since we talked. You were 21. I was sitting by a tree working on a drawing, I had gotten into art at the time and was studying to become an illustrator one day. I remember seeing a person, quite tall, and very good looking walking by. Of course, I had refrained from being in love anymore with all costs. But, do you remember how you sat next to me under that tree, and I didn't even have to look up to know, it was absolutely you.

Do you remember the way we stared into each other's eyes? Oh, that moment.. Any time before that very specific moment, I could have sworn I had finally gotten over you. Then you swoop in like an angel, and steal my heart away once more. Remember how you kissed me underneath that tree? Oh, how I do. It was the feeling of bliss that I had missed, ever so dearly. Remember how I asked you how life had been, and you began to tear? I wiped them for you. You told me it was successful, yes. You had become an engineer, having your own business at that. But you weren't happy, you said. Something was missing. I asked you about your _other_, and you became silent.

Remember when I committed suicide today, when you told me the reason you couldn't be with me anymore was because you loved me too much, and were too afraid to get any closer to me, knowing that you were scheduled to die, May 14, 1991? I couldn't deal with the thought of losing you, so I guess I beat you too it.. I'm sorry, I love you. Rest in peace, as well, my love... And remember me, always. I'll see you soon.

Your's Truly, Forever & Always,

- F. Vargas -

Suicide Note - May 9, 1991

* * *

Dear Feli, why did you do this to me... I got notice that I am cleared from the disease, and that I would be able to live. But reading this, I have decided I didn't want to be here, either.

To anyone who may be reading this, I'm sorry.

- L. Beilschmidt -

Suicide Note - May 10, 1991


End file.
